A night with the baby…


July 21, 2008| Jason Michael Reynolds|6 Minutes
July 21, 2008|By Jason Michael Reynolds|6 Minutes

A night with the baby…


Well, we are slowly adjusting to having a baby in our lives. Watching a newborn parenting video, the instructor says, “The one thing I cannot prepare you for is the lack of sleep…”

I’m thinking “Ha!… I can go 3 days without sleep if I really want to…This will be a walk in the park.”

But she is right. You really are not prepared for the amount of sleep you will lose, because not only are you not sleeping, you are expected to function as though you have had a good 8 hours of rest a night.

We had a family breakfast the other day Grammy set up in advance so that some visiting family members could see the little munchkin. My mother asked me if 8:30 would be all right for visitors. “Of course. 8:30 should be fine.” It is, in actuality a perfectly logical time to eat breakfast.

Well, rationality, logic, and babies do not mix. I started the night shift with Jonny so Mama could sleep. He got fussy for some food about 11:00 pm, so I fed him and then the night proceeded like this.

11:30 pm – still fussing…won’t eat, but not even half way through his bottle…maybe he needs to burp

11:45 pm – got a good burp out of him…still fussy…lets try to eat again.

12:00 am – still have 1/3 the bottle left and can’t go more than 3 sips without arching his back, throwing his head around, and letting me know that I am just a horrible parent. hmm.. maybe he has a dirty diaper.

12:15 am – yep he has a dirty diaper. all clean again yay!… let’s try to finish that bottle.

12:30 am – while trying to feed, we now have the hiccups. Lots of angry frustrated crying ensues…Dad makes things worse by holding him over his shoulder in an attempt to burp him. He is actually TRYING to burp, but has the hiccups and this just compounds the frustration.

1:00 am – Still have the hiccups. Angry crying. Won’t eat, won’t sleep, won’t burp…crying crying crying…

1:30 am – K we beat those hiccups… now we must be crying for a different reason…Wow. I didn’t know crying could hit that octave.

1:45 am – Ohhh… we have a wet diaper. That must be it. Lets change him.

1:50 am – While changing him, Jonny ‘lets it fly’ so to speak…now he is really wet, the changing table is wet, his wipes are wet, all the clean diapers daddy was gonna use are wet…and now he really lets me know how that feels. Now we have to change him… again.

2:00 am – Mommy gets up. “Is he alright?”
“Oh I’m just changing him.”
I’m pretty sure if you would have asked Jonny he would have said, “No. Daddy is torturing me. Please call C.P.S. ASAP.”

2:15 am – Mommy suggests he is probably hungry. Daddy tries to explain that he just fed him but then realizes that 3 hours have now passed since then. Hmm… maybe he is hungry.

2:30 am – Daddy is falling asleep trying to feed crying baby. Mommy takes over. Daddy sleeps. I wonder if he made it to the bed.

(At this point I remember nothing until about 5:00 am.)

Somewhere between then and now, Mommy got Jonny to sleep because somehow mommy and daddy are both sleeping when infernal baby monitor informs us that ‘Houston, we have a problem.’

5:00 am ……mmmmmmmmhh.. Daddy says, “Hon, he’s hungry.” Mommy replies. “His bottle is on the table.” mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhh… (really not the answer I wanted to hear)

5:05 am – Daddy drags himself out of bed so mommy can sleep and finds the bottle on the table…but the baby milk is still in the fridge. (frozen mind you). Blast it daddy forgot to set a bottle out to thaw at the last feeding…daddy still has to warm the milk. Crying is audible now without infernal baby monitor. Baby lets daddy know what a ‘newb’ he is…

Oh look! Grandma is waking up. Boy, I hope she got some sleep since she has to drive home this morning.

5:45 am – Baby is fed and goes to sleep…Daddy thinks he might smell dirty diaper, but baby is sleeping and we are not going to ruin that. It’s probably just gas.

6:00 am – It wasn’t. I don’t remember if daddy changed this one or mommy. Things get hazy at this point.

8:30am – Daddy has missed Grandma leaving and wakes to find a family of 11 walking in the front door. Daddy hopes Mommy is awake to let them in….Blast. Mommy is still in the shower. Daddy better get up.

Papa says, “Morning!”
My eyes are barely open. “mmmmph coffee… strong coffee.”

Ahhh ready to start the day??? 🙂
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Jason Michael Reynolds

Writer. Photographer. Ausome Parent.

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