*Spoiler alert for the kiddies or those still young at heart*
Ok, this blog was long in the making. Mama and I have argued over this since before we were married so it was weighed and measured before taking our vows and yet to this day we still have not come to a joint consensus regarding our kids and one, “ahem”: anta-Say, aus-Clay
Mama has always been of the mind that yes, our kids are believing in Santa until they are old enough to figure it out, if ever they decide to. Santa comes in his sleigh every Christmas Eve, brings presents every Christmas for the children, fills their stockings with toys if we are good, and will give them a lump of coal if we are naughty. Rudolph, elves, north pole..etc…
I have been raised of a mind-set that it is deliberately lying to our kids, bribing them to be good, and setting them up for a heartbreak years later.
Now before you label me a Scrooge or a Grinch I must first give you some background about my childhood.
My upbringing was in a private Christian School that fervently emphasized that Christmas was not about Santa Claus or getting presents, but about the gift of God sending his Son to earth for all mankind. It is a time for giving because we have received the greatest gift of all and we should want to give to others because of it. It is possible to believe both as a child, but sooner or later, they will catch on about ‘Santa…the Easter Bunny…the Tooth Fairy’ and all the other ‘imaginaries’ we have taught them, what will they assume about the whole ‘God sending his son’ business if none of the other things are real?
This was taught from preschool on up and reemphasized by pretty much everyone around me, relatives, babysitters, teachers (The school I went to was also affiliated with the church we went to). My dad was a teacher there, my aunt was my 4th grade teacher, my uncle the music teacher and my sister and 5 of my cousins went there at some point. Every baseball team I was on starting at age 5 was comprised all of kids from my school and church until I was 11. As a result, all of my classmates and family were of like mind and did not teach or believe in Santa either, so there was no danger of ‘spoiling’ it for the others. My younger cousins called him ‘Santa Clown’ when they were little.
They taught us that Santa is just pretend like an imaginary friend. People dress up as Santa like people dress up for Halloween.
On a side note, also, we never celebrated Halloween, so I have never been trick-or-treating, (again, I was taught that ‘Trick-or-treat’ is basically extortion for candy with the threat of a ‘trick’ on the other end, and for a long time I was actually scared of trick-or-treaters)
Anyways, logically my position makes sense to me, but Mama’s position makes sense to her. Children ought to have an imagination while they are still young and innocent. It is a fun tradition to look forward to every year even when they are too old for it. (The stockings and milk and cookies and carrots and everything). When kids are old enough to figure out about Santa, they are old enough to discern the reality of the ‘Christmas story’ vs. the pretend ‘Santa story.’ She believed in Santa when she was little and turned out just fine. I’m sure others did as well…
…but we never resolved how we were going to raise our kids. I suppose this year we will not have to worry about it because Jonny is too little but whatever we decide, we need to be on the same page. Thoughts?
Not that my opinion matters at all but I too agree with Marian and Sara. My sister Susan is a devout Christian and one of her kids Christmas stockings has the nativity scene on it and those kids have known from the get-go the true meaning of Christmas. Having said that though, Santa is a sweet thing for kids to get to be excited for and there’s not any disappointment that I can think of when he is figured out. I don’t consider it lying to your child either, it’s more of a fun game and trust me, you are not always going to be able to tell your kids the whole truth about everything as sometimes the truth hurts and is not necessary.
Also, we very much instilled the giving spirit in our girls and they knew early on about the Salvation Bell ringers and were always happy to contribute to that and understood helping out people less fortunate.
You and Julie are such good parents that Jonny and future children will obviously understand about Jesus’ birth and will be kind, compassionate and giving people just like you are. Believing in Santa will not change any of that.
I think that Marian said it beautifully. I believe as long as one emphasizes the true meaning of Christmas that it’s okay to allow for the addition of Santa as well.
Our kids know what Christmas is: Jesus’s birthday. I can say with confidence that neither one would say it”s about Santa. Yet, they are also looking forward to the magic of a gift giving man who only comes when they are sleeping. It’s a perk of being a kid!
Lastly, you must know this is coming. Selfishly, I want Jonny to believe in Santa so he doesn’t tell our kids!
Jason,
I think that you can have a combination of both. When our children were young we exposed them to both. Of course the birth of Jesus and his love our the heart of Christmas. We used to read the nativity passages from the bible each year and discuss them with the children. We would also discuss that giving we do at Christmas is rooted in Christ. The children seem to be able to see that and also have some fun with Santa. Hope this helps.
Love
Marian