Determined to not have this result in a meltdown (if I wanted that, I could have just forced him to come inside in the first place), I let him back in the car with the windows rolled down. Eventually, “whatever it was” passed and he let me pull him into the house almost 2 hours since he first got in the car.

The next few hours before bedtime was like a tornado touched down in the house. And it didn’t even involve a meltdown.

Jonny started whining about being hungry. Of course, he doesn’t eat any of his lunch at school (he claims to not have enough time to eat ANYTHING) and so I make him eat his lunch from school before I make him anything else…

Jonah decides he wants to dump a bin full of all of Jonny’s Disney Infinity characters (probably around 50) and Jonny and Jonah start going at it (“Give them to me Jonah!! They’re mine! etc…”). I told Jonny I would help him pick them up.

Unphased, Jonah decides he wants to push over all the laundry hampers with the clothes I just folded. grrr… So I tried to distract Jonah with his tablet and picked the laundry up and hurried them upstairs into our bedroom.

While I was upstairs, Jonah had hurled the tablet across the room. (I think it still works?) He had also hurled two additional toy bins and was throwing toys like projectiles into the ceiling.

Jonny calms down enough to actually eat, but then Jonah decides all the lights in the house need to be turned off. ALL OF THEM. Then Jonny and Jonah start going at it again over the light switch. Jonny whining. Jonah whining.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to do the dishes because there isn’t a clean plate in the house and now, I am trying to do them in the dark. I can sense Jonah is just on the cusp of “losing it” so I didn’t push it.

Except then, Jonah grabs me by the hand and leads me down to the couch to sleep (like we do at night ALL THE TIME now, apparently). But Jonah’s version of “snuggling” involves him standing on my stomach and then knee-dropping me right in the midsection.

The other problem is it is only 6:30pm and bedtime is around 9pm. Jonah was really tired, but hadn’t eaten anything. Well, not counting a snack bag of Doritos he snuck while I was picking up the laundry and toys.

Mama came home about this time with a pizza (bless you Mama!)

So I tried to get Jonah to eat something, but of course, HE won’t eat in the dark either, and he didn’t want the lights turned on. So I allowed Jonny to eat upstairs in our room and Jonah grabbed his plate and took it into the family room where he promptly took one bite and left it.

He went upstairs. I ate some pizza downstairs by myself. Pretty sure I ate Jojo’s pieces too that he left. In the dark.

But while I was eating, Jonah found the hampers I had left upstairs with the folded laundry.

Not in the hampers anymore… and not so folded either. And so while Mama was picking up the laundry (again), the 4-year-old human hurricane decided to throw all the papers off my desk like he was “making it rain.”

Raining papers. And clothes. And toys. In the dark.

So I was like… you know what? IT IS BEDTIME. Right now.

“Jonny. Get your jammies on.”

Jonny immediately starts whining. (“No fair, etc…”) Then he proceeds to whine about the difficulty of picking out jammies (that I just put away in his drawers) and the difficulty of raising his arms to get them on. His eyes were rolling back in his head about this time. I glanced at the clock.

Well I’ll be. It actually IS bedtime. Somehow it had been over 2 hours already.

Jonny asked if he could use the bathroom. I told him to wait until after I got Jonah’s teeth brushed. But “Mr. Cocopugs” evaded me (giggling the whole time) and I had to catch him first.

And wouldn’t you know it, as soon as I caught him, Jonny had just waltzed right into the bathroom I had “dibsed” for Jonah’s teeth-brushing. It’s anyone’s guess how long Jonny would be, but at that point, Jonah had already climbed into his own bed and was climbing under the covers.

Screw it. His teeth can rot for a night.

I snuck some melatonin in his sippycup tonight, because I remembered he actually did fall asleep in the car on the way home, which precipitated this whole shenanigan so I didn’t want that 10 minute nap causing a 2 hour delay in our bedtime routine…

Turns out, I didn’t need it. The little guy was out 10 minutes after his head hit the pillow.

I may revise that opinion in a few hours. It’s only 11pm currently . 😉