Have you ever been offered respite from parenting duties, but are afraid to take it for fear of what could happen while you aren’t watching?

We visited relatives out of town over the weekend.

Grandma and Grandpa graciously offered to send us on a dinner/movie date and babysit the kids while we were gone (6 grandkids) including Jonah…

Jonah is really doing fantastic around lots other people but It’s always a roll of the dice whenever Jonah is away from us and out of his routine for any extended period of time.

But this is “grownup time.” A DATE. A real, honest to God DATE with my wife. Those are FEW and far between now… rare gifts.

But there were some things we had to consider as Ausome parents…

For dinner/movie, we would be gone from around 5pm to 9:30pm. 4.5 hours. I know Grandma and Grandpa would do an excellent job watching the kids but … it’s 4.5 hours.

Lots of time for “anything” to happen.

Jonah couldn’t really go outside. He loves playing outside and gives him a good sensory outlet.

Unfortunately, It was dark and rainy that day. No going outside. When he’s cooped up is when he tends to “get into things” and There are lots of things at Grandma and Grandpas house that shouldn’t be gotten into by 4-year-olds…

Jonah had barely eaten all day. His behaviors tend to be more extreme when he’s hungry. We tried to feed him before we left, but he wasn’t really hungry.

Jonah has a bit of separation anxiety when Mom/Dad OR brother leave without him and it can very easily lead to a tantrum or full-blown meltdown and Jonah meltdowns can get pretty aggressive.

I was counting on Jonny to help the grandparents out with understanding Jonah’s cues but Jonny had already fallen asleep on the couch when we were ready to leave. It was only 5pm.

Grandma wasn’t home from work yet. It was just Grandpa at that point and Jonah “hasn’t made his mind up yet” about Grandpa so it was tough to leave. It really was.

It always is.

There were a lot of reasons not to go…

There always are.

But it is grownup time. A chance to have grownup conversation… to watch a grownup movie that doesn’t feature nursery rhymes or talking animals…

… and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about Jonah…

…do not even THINK about limiting him. He will often surprise you.

So we took a leap of faith.

Off we went.

It was a double date with my wife and her brother and his wife. Dinner and a movie.

I had to force myself “not to worry” or play the “What if” game. I had to force myself to just “have a good time.”

And I did.

The movie started at 7pm. It was longer than expected. The kids usually go down for bed about 9pm… it was nearly 10pm when we arrived back home. I could see Jonah in the window.

His cheeks were red. He had obviously been crying. Huh boy.

When I walked in, I picked him up. He CLUNG to me. I feared the worst…

But it turns out, I didn’t need to worry. Because he did GREAT. Even Jonny said so.

For 4 hours, he had a blast with his cousins. He didn’t cry when we left at all. He watched us go out the window. He grazed on some chicken nuggets and played the rest of the time.

He started crying about 9pm. Bedtime.

It wasn’t the aggressive “throwing things” and “hitting people” meltdown cry…

It wasn’t an “escalation.”

It was the sad “I’m tired but I can’t go to sleep without knowing Daddy is coming back” frown-y-face, tear-out-your-heart cry. The one he did as an infant that started with a lip quiver and a whimper that made you want to give him whatever he wanted immediately.

I guess he had wandered the house since bedtime with his mournful sob, occasionally checking the windows.

Nothing less than Daddy and Mommy coming home would help it to abate.

Just a boy who missed his Mama and Daddy.

So when I came back, he clung to Daddy, relief washing over his face, head buried in my shoulder.

Jonny offered his comforts, “aww, Jojo, you just wanted Daddy to come back, didn’t you…”

And Jonah whispered in my ear “…come back…”

He offered no protests when I told him it was time for bed. He was actually excited to get ready. I sat with him as he fell asleep, which took all of about 5 minutes.

I sat there thinking “Aww, buddy. You did SO great! I’m so proud of you! Daddy’s sorry. I know you just wanted Daddy to come back for bedtime…”

Next time we’ll find an earlier movie.

**Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa for watching our kids and doing a fantastic job… and for the gift of time together with other adults and a respite from parenting, even for a little while.