So Jonah has gotten pretty stir-crazy lately. I’m sure many of you can relate.
I sure can.
Finding things for Jonah to do at home can be challenging when we are home ALL DAY. Sometimes we get out puzzles. Sometimes we play games. Sometimes we just let him tear apart the house.
Hey… “Any port in the storm” at this point.
But out of all the things Jonah can do, he LOVES to be outside. Jonah’s MOST preferred indoor activity at any given moment will always ‘lose’ to simply “being outside.”
His favorite game… his tablet… eating his favorite food… you name it… Doesn’t matter HOW preferred a thing it is, to Jonah, just being outside is still better.
One of his very first independent unprompted verbal requests was to ask to go outside.
The kid loves everything about being outside. He loves nature. Water. Dirt. Mud. Sticks. Getting dirty. Throwing rocks. Dogs barking. Seeing animals. Finding bugs…
He will literally play outside until it is too dark to see, or too cold to move.
In the past, I have been able to send him out to the back yard and he would be content all day. We have a sand box… Water sensory toys… Bubbles… A hill to roll down… Just LOADS of fun for him.
He spent all day outside yesterday, even though it was mostly overcast. It could be pouring down rain, and the kid would just laugh it off.
But today is a BEAUTIFUL spring day. When Jonah started getting antsy, I figured I could send him into the back yard to play. Hours of fun. No problem.
So he went and got ready. He put his coat on, put his socks and shoes on…
And then I unlocked the sliding glass door for him to go out.
…except he DIDN’T go out this time.
When I tried to open the door, he frantically tried to shut it again, an anxious look on his face. He sat looking wistfully out into the back yard, with all its fun ready to be had, but he did NOT want the door to be opened…
…and he wouldn’t move.
I asked him if he wanted to go outside, and he replied that he indeed DID want to go…
…but he wouldn’t go.
I asked him “why” he didn’t want to go outside, but he wouldn’t reply.
I asked him if he wanted to be “all done” with going outside and he SCREAMED, that he wanted to go outside.
I told him “okay,” and to go ahead.
His eyes darted around anxiously… frantically… I could even see tears starting to well up.
It’s like he WANTED to go outside, but at the same time he DIDN’T want to go outside, for some reason.
huh.
I asked him if he wanted me to come with him.
He didn’t answer.
I asked him if he wanted BROTHER to come out with him.
He didn’t answer.
So, not knowing what else to do, I asked brother to come outside with me. Jonny isn’t particularly fond of being outside, but he was willing to help out his little brother.
I figured if me and brother were both outside, he would want to be out there as well.
…Except he didn’t.
He tried to shut the door when we opened it and I had to force it open to let Jonny and myself out. And then he shut the door behind us, never moving from that same spot.
He would not follow us.
I started blowing bubbles in front of the door, something Jonah had done all day yesterday, but I couldn’t convince Jonah to join me today. But he wouldn’t leave the door.
What on earth?
Jonny and I spent most of half an hour in the backyard trying to get Jonah to come out, but he wouldn’t budge.
Finally, Jonny got bored and went back inside.
I told Jonah if he didn’t want to go outside, that was fine, but I was coming in and going to shut and lock the door again (so the cats wouldn’t get out).
Jonah became so anxious, he just laid on the ground in front of the door, his hands covering his ears.
And I still didn’t know why.
So not knowing what else to do, I coaxed him, “Let’s go outside together.”
And so Jonah grabbed on to my neck, wrapped his legs around me and buried his head into my shoulder and let me carry him into the back yard.
At first we stayed like that. I sat in a chair enjoying the sunshine, Jonah still burrowed into my shoulder.
And then I looked around… like REALLY looked around. It was a crisp spring day. Very little wind. It was really quite pleasant. The sun was shining…
Hmm. The sun… was shining…
And then I FINALLY figured it out.
The sun was casting a gentle haze which you could see against the shade behind us.
And against that background, the sun was highlighting every little thing flying around, the same way you can sometimes see dust particles in a sunbeam.
You could see EVERYTHING.
And then I looked at it from Jonah’s perspective.
You could see lots of “flying critters” in that light. Nothing really remarkable…
And I remembered that sometime last summer, Jonah was stung by a bee.
AH-HA!
I don’t actually know when it happened or WHERE it happened, but Jonah has developed an aversion to bees. And considering that this has never been an issue until now, I assume he must have been stung fairly recently.
But here’s the thing. It’s not just the bees now. Jonah doesn’t know how to differentiate the flying bugs that can sting him from the ones that can’t.
So, Jonah has developed an aversion to literally ANY flying bug. House flies, mosquitoes, grasshoppers, ANYthing.
That was the problem… Jonah WANTED to be outside, but he didn’t want the bugs to be out there with him.
And you could see them ALL in the sunbeams.
“But,” you say, “All the bugs were out there yesterday and he didn’t have a problem?”
Ah.
But yesterday, because it was colder and overcast there weren’t as many “bugs” out and (more importantly) he couldn’t SEE them all.
So less bugs = less anxiety. It was a problem. But, this was also something we could figure out.
It’s so much easier to figure out solutions once you have identified the problem.
So, Jonah needed to just “feel okay” outside again. He just needed to get used to being out there with all the flying critters.
Once I figured that out, I just let him sit on my lap, to get used to being outside, with all the ‘bugs.’
I didn’t try to force him to do anything. I didn’t try to make him “confront his fear” or anything like that.
It’s not an easy thing for Jonah to overcome. So I simply let him “be.”
I gave him time. I was patient. I didn’t push him.
But when he was ready, and I gave him a turn with the bubble wand, he slowly eased his way off my lap.
And within about ten minutes or so, he was running around the back yard again, playing with the water, blowing bubbles, moving the garden gnomes…
…just back to being himself.
I went inside and he didn’t even notice.
He finally came back in about 4 hours later, soaking wet and dirty, but with a giant grin on his face.
Sometimes when we run into hardships we just need time to process it. Sometimes we need someone to help us get through it.
Sometimes, anxiety will get the best of us, but with someone to help us pull through, and a little bit of patience and understanding, we can get through anything.
And to tell you the truth, I’m feeling a bit anxious right now about “life.”
I’m a little bit nervous about the “bugs” flying around.
But I know we will get through it.
We just need Patience, Time, And Support.
My son taught me that.
Original Facebook Post.