I decided to get Jon…


March 9, 2023| Jason Michael Reynolds|6 Minutes
March 9, 2023|By Jason Michael Reynolds|6 Minutes

I decided to get Jon…


I decided to get Jonah some Glofish for Christmas. Eight Glofish to be exact.

It was a mistake.

I am realizing now (after approximately 2 months), it was a big, big, big, BIG, HUGE MISTAKE.

These fish are fragile little 2-inch mother-suckers of all joy and everything good in life.

They can seriously pound rocks.

I did all my research beforehand. I watched the YouTube videos about the nitrogen cycles and the water changes and all of that.

The YouTube channels made it look soooooo easy to take care of fish. And Glofish are “HEARTY” fish.

I BOUGHT water for them. Special FISH water. 15 dollars for a 2.5-gallon jug of “fish water.”

Our tank holds 29 gallons of expensive “fish water.”😳

Yeah.

I tested that water.

I changed that water regularly. I dechlorinated that water. I added special “water conditioner” to that water.

I changed the filter regularly. I added the “special bacteria.”

I added snails. They all died in 3 days.

I added an algae eater. It was dead within two.

The nitrate or nitrite (I don’t remember which. Probably both.) is just too high.

I did a 1/4-tank water change. I did a 1/3-tank water change. Today I did a 1/2-tank water change.

The stupid nitrate/nitrite levels are STILL “pink” and a “dangerous levels” according to the testing strip box.

The water I added has 0ppm. NONE.

(Also, did you know that Petco charges $20 for 25 water-testing strips?)

So yeah.

Now 2 fish have died in the last 2 days.

I did a half-tank water change today and could only bring the nitrates down to 80ppm (unsafe levels) and the nitrites are still up over 10ppm (dangerous levels).

So the poor fish in there are all stressed out and twitching.

I can’t just put “all new water” in, even dechloronated, because apparently, it will “kill all the fish.”

But what will happen if I don’t?

So yeah. My choices are to change the all water out and kill ALL the fish at once, or keep doing these unhelpful partial water changes and watch each fish die a slow agonizing death, one little fishy at a time.

Because Jonah will absolutely LOVE either one of those choices guys!

I have now thrown out 6 snails and flushed 3 fish that cost around 10-bucks a pop that I was told “would live 2 to 3 years” if they are well-taken care of…

“wEll tAken cARe oF…” 🤬

I did my best, guys.

Typically I’d say, “Well, that’s it for the fishies. No more fishies. We tried.”

But noOooooO.

I went and made them an INTEGRAL part of Jonah’s morning and evening routines. I’ve paired feeding the fish up with picking his clothes out at night and getting dressed in the morning.

I hyped it all up. I wanted Jonah to be SOOOO excited to feed the fish, he’d start just getting dressed and picking his clothes out all by himself.

And he did get excited. Oh yes. Very excited. (Because of course he did)

And it has been working splendidly.

He’s been so happy feeding his “fishies” (“Nom-nom-nom!!”) and then getting his clothes out for tomorrow or getting dressed.

Will it KEEP working “splendidly?”

What do you think. Do you think Jonah will notice that a quarter of his fish are now “missing?”

He doesn’t pay attention to details like that at all right? 🤦‍♂️

No “Ausome” kids ever pay attention to those silly “details.” Ever.

Ugh. You know the worst part?

I did this. Me.

I did this to MY-self. Jonah never asked for “fishies.” He never said he “wanted” fishies…

Jonah loves all animals. We had thought about getting him a parakeet (budgie) for Christmas because he ADORES those birds every time he sees them.

He will spend hours with them with a HUGE grin.

But I thought, “no… BIRDS are too hard to take care of. “

“Just TOO much work. How hard could it be to take care of fish?”

“hoW hArD cOuLd iT be?”

Stupid fish.

I mean…

Very lovely fish. Lovely HEALTHY fish.

(Please don’t die. Please, for the love of all things good and holy, please stay alive. )

#Ausome



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